• Truly independent artist

How to deal with negative thoughts?

By a truly independent artist

This is how it all goes down in my head: Who do you think you are? You are too fat. There are so many people more talented than you. You should be better, a better singer, better songwriter. You have not accomplished enough. You should be stronger, fitter etc…

I can keep going on and on, but I think you get the picture. We all have this voice in our head, and it rings like a bell when we move past our comfort zone (writing this blog is way past my comfort zone). This voice is there giving you a million reasons why you should not be taking any action whatsoever. That voice is called fear! What if I fail? But the question you should ask yourself if what if you don’t take action? You will stay at the exact same place. Nobody will come and rescue you until you do it for yourself.

The best part is when you share those reasons for not doing something out loud to a friend or family member and they agree with you, it gives you more reason to listen and succumb to that voice.

I am a strong-willed woman and when I decide, it’s done. I dislike when people say things or make plans but never follow through (unless there is a good reason, I am human after all), and I will challenge you. So, if you are not willing to hear the truth, don’t ask me, I will be honest and answer you with my truth (in my perspective). Working towards a goal, however, is difficult and it doesn’t scare me, I think it might actually fuel me. I like you or I don’t. I prefer strong-minded people, the ones that are bold and take risks. I like to be in control of the process, and I am working on letting go of the outcome, but it is what it is, it is my way simple as that.

From now on I am not going to apologize anymore for being me. If you had to describe and introduce your real self to the world, the person you are now, the one you have become, what would that statement be? I invite you to try and write it down to see the real you and who you want to be. We are constantly transitioning, growing, and becoming. We make mistakes, we learn, we move on… it’s called life.

So how do we get rid of those negative thoughts?

I believe that you can’t. You will never get rid of the voice totally, but you can learn to live with it. Acknowledge that they are just thoughts, they don’t define you. You are who you decide to be right now. Surround yourself with positive, happy humans that will challenge you for good. Make new friends, listen to talks, podcasts (work with what you have) they will push you to be the person you want to. There will be days where you are unsuccessful when that voice says “Why me" and that is ok. Take the time to notice, digest. Do not pretend everything is amazing when it’s not. To tell you the truth, you never know what will happen.

I have felt the most love when I was at my lowest point, after a death or a break-up. When I let go of the control because I didn’t have any strength to fight receiving kindness from a stranger, a friend or family member. These were the moments when I was able to really connect, notice how amazing they were and how lucky I am to have them in my life. Do not fight for it, surrender to it and the rewards will be boundless.

Life is too short not to live it to the best of our abilities; learn, master, teach, and start again.

Andrea Dee