• Truly independent artist

Relationship Verses Career?


30th April 2020, 

Love and relationship versus passion and career; do we have to choose?

If you asked me 3 years ago, I would have said YES you have to choose one or the other. Today I have a very different approach, so what made me change my mind?

Well, I should go back to where it all started. I am the child of a professional dancer and a small business owner. My mother was herself the daughter of 2 dancers (yes it runs through my veins). She started her professional dancing career at the age of 16, her success brought her to a new country where she felt love at first sight, meeting the man who would become my father. After having me, she couldn’t go back to work (back in the day, you could not be a mother and dancer because it wasn't appealing to some casting directors), I should add that she was the star of the show, even headlining a TV show in Italy. Even after 30 years people still remember her beauty and elegance. She continued working in the chorus line in different shows as well as modelling. Although she still kept busy professionally she always felt that she had to choose and that although the idea of a family was something she wanted. She also felt like she should have waited, perhaps become the star she was supposed to be, but who knows, if she did wait maybe I wouldn’t be here, and you would not be reading this right now.

I lived my whole life thinking I had to choose, entering relationships knowing in the back of my mind it wouldn’t last. The minute they saw that dating an artist or musician meant no weekends and no “normal schedules" to say the least, taking work when you can because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring, can make a partner feel like they are not a priority.

What you believe in, becomes your reality and 3 years ago I changed my mind and my thought process. It began when I started asking, why do some people get it all, and some don’t? I worked in restaurants where I used to serve the perfect-looking couple, happy, rich, it felt like they were living their best life (maybe not the truth but remember what you believe becomes your reality ) and I asked myself why not me? Didn’t I deserve this life of having it all (by the way, you never think you have it all) and the happy forever? I started looking at and listening to people that “had it all”, successful careers, beautiful families, and really started to dig into finding out: what makes them different from me? The answer was very clear. Never in their vocabularies were the words “I can’t, this will never happen for me, I’m not”, etc... They made plans, had visions of their future, and lived in the present. So, I changed my thought process little by little. Listening, and surrounding myself with people that had the same mindset until I was ready to be vulnerable and say out loud exactly what I wanted.

Whatever people think, or when they roll their eyes at me (something that bothered the younger me but now only shows me that I'm on the right track), I say I want it all, and will have it, just watch me! I’m making the choice to live the life I want to live. Not every day is perfect, but every choice is mine to make. Of course, life doesn’t happen how you predict it, there are ups and downs, but I bounce back and will choose to do what I feel is right. You are not a victim until you choose to be. Whatever your situation is, fight if you need to, dare to dream, dream to dare and always know that if they can do it so can you.

I choose to have it all what about you? 

#RelationshipVersesCareer #journeyofanindependentartist #music #musician #daretohaveitall #femalesingersongwriter

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